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View Full Version : DUX (that is latin for leader; aren't you impressed) Speacial Weapon's & Tactics School


DUX
31 March 2016, 19:09
Hey ya'll! Don't brutalize me or anything, but if you're a nice fella, or gal, that believes in the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights, and you can be nice and be adult and qualify to come out to a super-elite-ninja place and we'll work on things like surviving a knife fight, or shooting to kill, and all sorts of dope she-yat that you never want to actually have to do! Pay me 5 dollars! I can introduce you to guys who have been there and done that and you can feel like a big man (or lady of manish tilt). Perhaps we can develop some essotera that nobody really needs but looks really cool. Wanna grow a beard? Come on! Lets sue some one for not thinking we're the end-all-be-all of a tiny fraction of human existence that honestly relies upon mostly luck! We will get chicks at the bar and a really awesome hot-tub! Sign up now!
DUX
31 March 2016, 19:15
https://youtu.be/zyWhGkuEEgo
Free Kevlar Monkey Video with every sign-up!
DUX
2 April 2016, 08:45
New Tactical Class Available. Price reduction to "Tree Fiddy" for the first 100 rubes--I mean Operators--who sign up! We call it the "Ace Ventua" style of Tactical Defense. You make sure in your EDC that you douse yourself in Crisco Canola Oil before leaving the house. If you get in a fight with a mean-man you're too slippery for him to get ahold of you very good. It does require some weapons handling and walking training. Especially when not walking or fighting on carpet. Put your money to good use and get some training from a professional (me and no one else). It could save your life when Red Dawn happens for real.
DUX
2 April 2016, 09:03
Anyone got Pat McNamara's phone number? We'd like to ask him if he'd be interested in coming out to the school to stand somewhere just out of ear-shot of the class and stare at them to help motivate everyone. The compensation package will include really good Beef Jerky and at least 3 excellent jokes afterward. :)
Joelski
2 April 2016, 11:01
Here is a do-it-yourself cardboard cut-out. I feel motivated already!

http://modernserviceweapons.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Screen-Shot-2013-10-22-at-2.48.19-PM.png

PS: is his patch backwards?
Joelski
2 April 2016, 11:06
https://youtu.be/zyWhGkuEEgo
Free Kevlar Monkey Video with every sign-up!

1984 was a pretty good year from what little I can remember but... This video was not produced in 1984!
DUX
2 April 2016, 11:21
962

I'm on the Horn with Pat and Van Halen; Stand by!
DUX
2 April 2016, 11:39
Pat says I can only have a life-sized cut-out of Eddie Haskell at the secret training base. :(
DUX
2 April 2016, 11:40
Van Halen says Sammy Hagar is coming back. We're finished! Abandon all hope!
DUX
2 April 2016, 11:57
Here is a do-it-yourself cardboard cut-out. I feel motivated already!

http://modernserviceweapons.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Screen-Shot-2013-10-22-at-2.48.19-PM.png

PS: is his patch backwards?

Negative. Pat often attacks the enemy while running backwards towards the enemy and firing over his shoulder at them. It freaks them all out and they can't tell if they're coming or going.

DISCLAIMER: What I just said was b*llsh*t. Everything I say is b*llsh*t. I'm b*llsh*t.
Joelski
2 April 2016, 13:16
Negative. Pat often attacks the enemy while running backwards towards the enemy and firing over his shoulder at them. It freaks them all out and they can't tell if they're coming or going.

DISCLAIMER: What I just said was b*llsh*t. Everything I say is b*llsh*t. I'm b*llsh*t.

But the "I like saggy tits" t-shirt is written frontwards...