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Thread: Another Give Away
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30 September 2019, 20:45 #1
Correction on Knife Give Away
Going to give away a Benchmade folder "551". I bought his just a few days ago, and decided I needed a "auto" due to hand size. It's the Griptillion model, black.
Instead of the usual boring "guess a number" game, this one will be slightly different. Entrants will post their best joke. (Please keep it "mostly" clean", in the decorum of this forum.)
Best joke wins. Not bad, it'll be a $110 joke. Submissions will end at midnight, Sunday, October 6th. You can post a joke, judge a joke or vote for a joke. I'm nominating UW, GatorDev and Jerry R, or Moderators and admins who in no way agreed to this, to cast final ballots on joke. And just like Sheldon Cooper, I'm not crazy, my parents had me tested.
BTW, you can post multiple jokes, just don't go crazy with it.
FT
EDIT: Accidently posted the knife as a "Blade Tech". It is a Benchmade. Sorry for the error.Last edited by FortTom; 3 October 2019 at 21:09.
NRA Life Member
Basket full of Deplorables Life Member
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30 September 2019, 22:17 #2
Im in! #328 get it?
The best way to survive a violent encounter is to be the one inflicting the most violence.
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30 September 2019, 22:23 #3
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.The best way to survive a violent encounter is to be the one inflicting the most violence.
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1 October 2019, 01:44 #4
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1 October 2019, 04:30 #5
I was at church the other day, helping a couple fellow parishioners with a task in the activity center prior to the service. A flustered-looking lady ran out of the restroom and called to us "Is mass out?" "No", I said, "but your hat's on crooked".
There's no "Team" in F**K YOU!
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1 October 2019, 07:03 #6
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1 October 2019, 07:04 #7
Another Give Away
My 4th grader made up this joke this week:
Why did the baseball player fail to make pancakes?
He didn’t batter up.Last edited by fledge; 1 October 2019 at 12:03.
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1 October 2019, 07:43 #8
"The 8 year assault on your second amendment freedoms has come to a crashing end"
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1 October 2019, 14:03 #9
After HPA passes... Hughes Amendment is next.
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1 October 2019, 14:04 #10
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1 October 2019, 16:18 #11Senior Member
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A magician is driving down the street and turns into a bar.
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2 October 2019, 11:31 #12
In Iraq why don’t they have sex Ed and driver’s ed on the same day?
Too much stress on the camel
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2 October 2019, 11:32 #13
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2 October 2019, 11:35 #14
This cop is walking his beat past a cathedral on a cold Chicago Sunday morning and sees two of the altar boys outside, pants around their ankles, with their wieners stuck into the snow bank.
The cop hustles over and says “Boys! What’s the big idea? What the heck are you’s doing out here?”
The boys look at each other and back at the cop, and one pipes up and says “The father said he wanted a couple cold ones after the service!”
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2 October 2019, 11:42 #15
This long time married couple were going through their morning routine in the bathroom: shaving, brushing teeth, brushing hair etc and the wife says “Honey, I think I need a boob job. I wish “they” were bigger. Can we afford it?”
The husband says “I know how you can get bigger boobs for free, you just have to do one easy thing and before you know it, they’ll be a lot bigger.”
Wife replies “Really? For free? How?”
Husband says “take a piece of toilet paper and every night before bed, rub it between your boobs. Before long, they’ll be huge!”
Wife says excitedly “You’re SURE this’ll work???”
The husband says “why not? It worked for your ass didn’t it?”