Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 30
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    N. KY
    Posts
    3,056
    Downloads
    1
    Uploads
    0

    Correction on Knife Give Away

    Going to give away a Benchmade folder "551". I bought his just a few days ago, and decided I needed a "auto" due to hand size. It's the Griptillion model, black.

    Instead of the usual boring "guess a number" game, this one will be slightly different. Entrants will post their best joke. (Please keep it "mostly" clean", in the decorum of this forum.)

    Best joke wins. Not bad, it'll be a $110 joke. Submissions will end at midnight, Sunday, October 6th. You can post a joke, judge a joke or vote for a joke. I'm nominating UW, GatorDev and Jerry R, or Moderators and admins who in no way agreed to this, to cast final ballots on joke. And just like Sheldon Cooper, I'm not crazy, my parents had me tested.

    BTW, you can post multiple jokes, just don't go crazy with it.

    FT
    EDIT: Accidently posted the knife as a "Blade Tech". It is a Benchmade. Sorry for the error.
    Last edited by FortTom; 3 October 2019 at 21:09.
    NRA Life Member
    Deplorables Life Member
    Bible and Gun Clinger
    Filthy Stinking Wal Mart Shopper


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Mn.
    Posts
    1,893
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Im in! #328 get it?
    The best way to survive a violent encounter is to be the one inflicting the most violence.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Mn.
    Posts
    1,893
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

    My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
    The best way to survive a violent encounter is to be the one inflicting the most violence.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    N. KY
    Posts
    3,056
    Downloads
    1
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Stone View Post
    Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

    My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
    , Damn, Stone, I guess since your joke is in first place, given that it's the only one, but those jokes are lame However with Mod's, admins, etc.., votes, and forum members votes, you could stay in the lead!
    NRA Life Member
    Deplorables Life Member
    Bible and Gun Clinger
    Filthy Stinking Wal Mart Shopper


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    On the bank of the Mighty Muskingum
    Posts
    4,029
    Downloads
    6
    Uploads
    0
    I was at church the other day, helping a couple fellow parishioners with a task in the activity center prior to the service. A flustered-looking lady ran out of the restroom and called to us "Is mass out?" "No", I said, "but your hat's on crooked".

    There's no "Team" in F**K YOU!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Mn.
    Posts
    1,893
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by FortTom View Post
    , Damn, Stone, I guess since your joke is in first place, given that it's the only one, but those jokes are lame However with Mod's, admins, etc.., votes, and forum members votes, you could stay in the lead!
    Alright, I thought those were funny. What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler!

    Can we keep trying until you spit coffee all over your monitor laughing so hard?
    The best way to survive a violent encounter is to be the one inflicting the most violence.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    1,882
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Another Give Away

    My 4th grader made up this joke this week:


    Why did the baseball player fail to make pancakes?

    He didn’t batter up.
    Last edited by fledge; 1 October 2019 at 12:03.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    S. Carolina
    Posts
    679
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    "The 8 year assault on your second amendment freedoms has come to a crashing end"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    PNW
    Posts
    15,286
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    After HPA passes... Hughes Amendment is next.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    PNW
    Posts
    15,286
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by fledge View Post
    My 4th grader made up this joke this week:


    Why did the baseball player fail to make pancakes?

    He didn’t batter up.
    This reminds of jokes I'd see in a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    820
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    A magician is driving down the street and turns into a bar.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    2,888
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    In Iraq why don’t they have sex Ed and driver’s ed on the same day?

    Too much stress on the camel

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    5,854
    Downloads
    2
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Former11B View Post
    In Iraq why don’t they have sex Ed and driver’s ed on the same day?

    Too much stress on the camel
    OUCH!

    Can I declare you the winner?

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    2,888
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    This cop is walking his beat past a cathedral on a cold Chicago Sunday morning and sees two of the altar boys outside, pants around their ankles, with their wieners stuck into the snow bank.

    The cop hustles over and says “Boys! What’s the big idea? What the heck are you’s doing out here?”

    The boys look at each other and back at the cop, and one pipes up and says “The father said he wanted a couple cold ones after the service!”

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    2,888
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    This long time married couple were going through their morning routine in the bathroom: shaving, brushing teeth, brushing hair etc and the wife says “Honey, I think I need a boob job. I wish “they” were bigger. Can we afford it?”

    The husband says “I know how you can get bigger boobs for free, you just have to do one easy thing and before you know it, they’ll be a lot bigger.”

    Wife replies “Really? For free? How?”

    Husband says “take a piece of toilet paper and every night before bed, rub it between your boobs. Before long, they’ll be huge!”

    Wife says excitedly “You’re SURE this’ll work???”

    The husband says “why not? It worked for your ass didn’t it?”

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •